Rachel Menzoian, LPC
How Do I Manage My Summer Expectations After My Divorce?
Updated: Jul 27, 2021
Ok lets talk about summer. After my divorce my summer expectations changed. I began to dread everything about summer. Families were everywhere. The pool, the park and social media were filled with families creating “perfect” memories. Everywhere I looked, summer reminded me that our family was broken. I became fixated on two questions. How do I create those “perfect” memories when I don’t have my kids all summer? And, how do I get excited about summer when I’m still grieving how it is “supposed” to be?
Here are a four things I have learned:
Focus on the time you DO have with your kids. What is important to you in the summer? Do you want to take a vacation or just have time at home? Plan your time deliberately. Remember it is about quality not quantity.
Don’t play the comparison game. Usually one parent is more permissive and “fun” and one is more of the parent. Your kids love both of you. Don’t make it a competition.
Enjoy your time without your kid’s, guilt free. Take advantage of the gift of down time. Complete a project, pick up a new hobby, rest, and go out with friends. Whatever you do, take care of you by focusing on whatever fills you up.
Focus on what you do have and what you can control. Recognize that you have an opportunity to create fun memories with your children while taking care of yourself this summer.